When I have a bad day it is because of work being a struggle, a flat tire in the rain, a fight with my significant other, or my check engine light coming on indicating not only a burden to my car, but soon a burden to my wallet. These moments of despair are short lived; there is not light at the end of the tunnel, but rather I am already standing outside of the tunnel; a mere speedbump in the road, not a cliff.
“Despair” is becoming a continuum word rather than a binary word. Such a transition is omnipresent in our society. What I mean to say is that previously our world was in a “yes” or “no” format: Abortion yes or no? Marijuanna legalization yes or no? Autism diagnosis yes or no? This or that decision being right or wrong. An action being ethical or unethical. These examples have been binary for years, meaning that the ideas could be answered a 1 (yes/correct) or a 0 (no/wrong). However, these ideas have been increasingly placed on a continuum between a 1 and a 0.
For example, the definition of autism is now on a spectrum, which can be easily distinguished by the degrees obtained to work with students who have Autism. Degree recipients can be certified in mild to moderate and/or moderate to intensive intervention. These two choices outline a rough continuum in the sense that an individual can fall anywhere between mild to intensive in regards to special needs intervention.
Despair is parallel in the sense that it is becoming a continuum. My examples of despair at the top were mild despair. I will define “mild despair” as: short term despair with a definite beginning and definite end, whereby life will continue.
Let me talk about the next level of despair. Two weekends ago, I was at the 40th Cleveland International Film Festival. As I sat through around 15 hours of films over the two days I was there, I couldn’t help but think about the despair of those facing the end of life. The movie “Chronic” was about a hospice care nurse who works with people who are terminally ill. The nurse knows the patients are dying and works to make their last days better. This movie is similar to Atul Gwande’s book Being Mortal or the recent best seller When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. Both books focus on end of life decision making in the sense of the pain or despair patients endure in their final days. The despair of death is moderate despair. Specifically, “moderate despair” should be defined as: a short-term despair that has a definite beginning and death (in the near future) being a definite end, or a more long-term despair that is surmountable with proper support.
“Intensive despair” can be defined in a similar sense to moderate despair with two alterations: death is not in the near future, and there is no level of support that can help stave off the impact of the long term despair. It is a despair that is compounded over many days, weeks, and years without an end in sight. It is the despair of being in a tunnel without seeing a light and knowing the light will never be seen.
I categorized this despair after reading the article “Kidnapped to Kill” on CNN. The harrowing article tells a story of young, trapped girls begging to become suicide bombers in Boko Haram. The thought of death by weaponized explosion was appealing not as a religious or personal philosophy, but as an escape from the despair (i.e. an escape from “…the relentless hunger and sexual abuse”). It is this level of despair for which I have no comprehension.
Another example of this “intensive despair” is that of girls as young as 13 trapped in the brothels of India. I say “trapped” because it is not uncommon to find these young girls as victims of drug-induced kidnapping and compulsory entry into the sexual slave trade. The mattresses where the girls are raped are the same mattresses where they close their eyes by night. These girls do not see the stars of the night or the sun of the day; their dreams are replaced by the hope of future promotion to the like of a sex-slave manager.
Both instances of trapped girls indicate the suffering in a state of intensive despair without death or another end in sight.
As an adult I have experienced mild despair with its short lived nuisance-like quality. I have seen the impact of moderate despair with its end of life ultimatum. But I have never comprehended the minutest form of intense despair exemplified by the sickening condition the aforementioned girls face.
It is from these stories that I molded my belief of despair being a well-defined continuum. Such a continuum can be leveraged to assist individuals in unearthing the microscopic level at which our alleged problems truly live; the level of “mild despair.”
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